“Rewind” {Poem}

Far more upsetting than any nightmare

Are the dreams in which you haunt me

Our wrecked love rekindled and felt so deeply

Even as I awaken

I feel it

Do you

Our lips having met once more

Satisfaction that cannot be measured

On some ethereal plane that vanishes

And begins to fade from memory

Once I’ve returned to waking life

No matter how tightly I hold onto it

And my soul aches

God, how it aches

A cavernous and vast emptiness

Of which I had become accustomed to

Has now been brought back to light

And I ache for your closeness

My abuser

My subconscious mind taunts

I replay it again and again

An addiction to an emotion

That my waking life fails to provide

The tingle of lust

The warmth of familiar love

I replay it to taste it

Just once more

And again

And again

And again

And again

Before it vanishes.

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