“The Ache”

•

What a thing it is… to be so utterly and hopelessly in love with this planet and all of her  beauty while also loathing life itself.

What a conundrum it is… to not want to welcome death to ones threshold just yet, but also not want to be alive.

What a predicament to be in, when your love for your children and animals is unwavering and absolute, yet your soul is so fundamentally tired of existing you crave an exit nearly every moment of every day.

Death is a taboo we’ve created yet it’s every bit as natural as birth and as life itself.

We, the emotional beings we are, dread the mirage of loss so greatly we’ve forgotten how to celebrate those who’ve made it through this step and into the next. 

We’ve created illusionary religions around an existence which is fleeting, fickle. 

We neglect our true nature by preaching the buck stops here.

This is it. 

You live, you love, you pay taxes, you die. 

The lights go out, the body expires and rots, and some grand theatrical man in white robes and golden sandals orchestrates your passage from human to spirit.

As if we, the dwellers of this water planet, are the only sentient beings created by a force capable of creating trillions of not just planets… but universes.

What a downright silly, ridiculous thing to have allowed our species to believe.

But I suppose it’s easier to treat death as some great yet horrifically taboo final destination than allow the overwhelming vastness of possibility into our hearts and minds. 

It’s better we pretend to know it all.

That we are existence’s ultimate creation and that there’s a supposed “heaven” awaiting our exit from these burdened bodies.

Because it makes life seem more important than it is.

More digestible, even.

We cling to this “top of the food chain” mentality as if the moment we release our grip, the scaffolding of all that is… collapses.

When in reality… it’s simply our fickle emotions which create the need for such absurdity. 

We allow inherently flawed-by-design human beings claim they know the answers… and we revere them and treat their opinions as our reality.

We stack one human’s opinion atop the next, in perpetuity for all of our span of existence.. until we claim them as ultimate fact. We then feed it to our children, who feed it to theirs, etc.

Our existence is harrowing, yes.. but it is not all there is.

How can it be?

There is a force which tethers you to this earth called gravity that we only barely understand, though our human scientists have studied it for millennia. 

We understand nothing. 

Nothing at all.

And we take life far too seriously. 

We are permitted to not want to be here whilst simultaneously revering every single molecule that exists all around us. 

It is not a paradox. 

Death is not taboo.

Human beings are not the end all be all.

Earth is not the only planet with significant life.

Allow the scaffolding that has held your beliefs together to fall away.

Blow it a kiss on its decent.

And allow your consciousness to expand without bounds. 

••